So what’s the evidence that English is dying? After all, it’s still spoken by several hundred million people living in anglophone homelands. “Well, we know,” claims ČEPI’s Caxton, “that if English wasn’t dying, then why are there so many statutes trying to prop it up by making English the official language of states, businesses, and schools? Why would so many people insist that English needs protection from other languages? Why are the directions for assembling furniture and toys always in pictures, not in English?”
“Why, also, would there be so many groups focused on correcting and improving English, purifying it, making sure that it’s protected from native English speakers as well as from foreigners?” Caxton added.
Ah mais, coumme tchi qu’l’Angliais a empiéthi d’pis 1887!
How the use of English has deteriorated since 1887!